I did not plan a full outline for this episode. I just had things on my heart that I needed to say. Whenever I feel that way, I know something about myself. I have probably gotten myself into a place where I am doing too much.
I have been known to juggle too much stuff at one time. Then I get to a place where I feel like I am not getting things done. When that happens, I have to stop. I check my priorities. I ask why I am doing the things I am doing. Then I ask what I really need to shift.
This time, the answer was hard to say out loud. Over the last six to eight months, I have not been authentic to myself.
My personal background has a lot to do with low self esteem. I grew up with the mindset that I have to please other people. I thought it would earn me attention, respect, or validation. That belief followed me into my business. I kept trying to find the perfect niche. I kept trying to design the right thing for the right people.
You might wonder if that is simply what business people do. Don’t business people create things for other people? Maybe so. But that business model does not work for me. When I fall into that pattern, I forsake myself.
I have learned a lot from my business mentor and from being in her community. It has helped me in my personal life as much as in my business. That is why I chose the title of this episode on purpose. I am coming home to Shalynne.
Shalynne does not need to be at the bottom of her list. Shalynne does not need to feel unsafe. Shalynne does not need to do twelve different things to attract people to her business or her creativity. Shalynne just needs to be Shalynne.
Think about the other side of that. If I spend the rest of my business days trying to make other people happy with what I create, I suffer. And who wants to be on the other end of a business where the business person is not fulfilled?
So I am taking steps toward what brings me the most joy. I am asking what I can share from my own creativity. I trust it will connect with who it is supposed to connect to.
One of the biggest shifts is that I came home to my knitting. I am a self taught knitter. Knitting brings me so much joy. It brings so much regulation to my nervous system. I take a skein of yarn from the store. I follow the steps in a pattern. I make it into a piece of art. My whole insides light up. I feel joy and pride. I have to be happy, and knitting makes me happy.
It goes further than that. I get to teach other people to knit. I pass on a timeless art. Some of them begin to enjoy designing graphics and other things that have yarn and knitting in them. Stepping into creativity this way has been amazing.
There is another freedom in coming home. I do not have to have everything figured out. I had to take a deep breath when I said that. My brain has kicked me into thinking that if I do not have it all figured out, I am failing. That could be nothing further from the truth.
I am 55, and there are still life lessons to learn. I see now that the striving, the stressing, and the going against the grain of what I truly love has done nothing but cause pressure.
I am still a life coach and a trauma informed coach. I want to connect with people who have creativity inside them that has been laying dormant. Maybe you have been going against the grain and you feel stuck. You are the community I am talking to. I smile just thinking about taking the light I am moving through and helping someone else become unstuck.
The future feels bright.
If any of this sounds like you, here is one next step. Ask yourself what brings you the most joy, and give it a little time this week.
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